Sergei Anikin

Interview with Sergei

Could you share your journey with us? First, imagine you have amnesia and have forgotten all aspects of your life. To remember who you are and the type of person you've become, please reflect on key moments, realizations, and milestones that have shaped your evolution from the earliest memories you can recall until the present day.

I think that knowing who I was in the past will not be important in the future. To know myself I would look inside and understand what is important for me and what are my interests right now. So, it doesn't matter what I have done in the past. The past doesn't define me as a person. What defines me as a person is what I will do in the future.

What kind of person are you? How did you evolve?

I like to think about personal evolution in stages. I believe that every person has a purpose in life and this purpose can be identified in multiple different ways. One way is to look for your so-called sacral wounds. The term was coined by Jean Huoston. Those are your psychological traumas caused to you during childhood.

So, on the first level of personal development people deny the existence of both the purpose of life and any kind of psychological problems or sacral wounds. Those people have very wide swings of self-esteem: one day they are the kings of the world, another day they are as miserable as pebbles. Such people do what is popular today, and tomorrow they will do something else. They always attach their identity to the group. They don't even realize that today they have one group's values, and tomorrow they have another group's values. For them, it's absolutely normal to have extreme changes just because somebody else has told them to do so.

At the second level of personal development, the most important would be to avoid those sacral wounds at any cost. Simple examples could be a person with the fear of public speaking. Such people might develop stuttering just to avoid the need to speak publicly.

At the third level of development, the person already understands that they have problems. He doesn’t blame others any more. That opens the opportunity to start working on the problem. There is a good movie called The King’s Speech which is a good demonstration of the person on this level of development working with his problem.

At the fourth level, because the person works on his problems consciously, problems become the person's strengths, but he doesn't yet control those strengths. That is, sometimes in extreme situations, it bursts out, and we can see a person behaving very differently from his normal self.

There are very few people in the world who have reached levels beyond fourth so I don’t think there is a lot of reason to talk about those. Since we're talking about me, I can similarly give some examples from my own stories. I'm an introvert, and I don't particularly like interacting with people. On the other hand, I find people interesting. To overcome the fear of speaking to people or presenting to the crowd I have consciously started teaching at a university to improve my public speaking skills. I didn't know the theory of personal development levels then, but looking back, it was the right thing to do.

Transitions from one level to another are also visible in a personal story. Usually, these are some crises in life. You have to break through the level of understanding of life to break through the level of personal development.

Why through the crisis?

It actually depends on how dramatic or harmonious the person is. You can talk to someone about a crisis situation, and they may say that it is not a crisis at all and that their own situation is a true crisis. But without a crisis, there is no growth. Essentially, it is a transformation of the personality. You shed some of your previous identities.

Working out karma?

There is not only one karma. There are many karma knots. It's like you're untying some knots.

Have you gone through the levels of personal development yourself? I don't ask about the stage, but how do you feel about it?

I don't know for myself. I actually simplified the theory. Each stage has sub-stages, which have the same stage names and similar identification markers. So you can confuse shifts between sub-stages and main stages. Also evolution within each stage is happening at a slowing pace, you can move from stage 1 to stage 3 in 10 years and then spend 20 years on the first sub-stage of the 3 stage.

Has there been a defining moment or realization in your life that has altered your direction or goals?

I have had a relatively harmonious development and had no major crises, but some decisions were difficult to make. However, after making them, I realized they were the right decisions, and the results were better than I expected or feared. Usually, this happened to me when I changed jobs.

In general, changing jobs is often described as a small death, both for you and your colleagues. When someone leaves the team, there is a period of mourning for everyone involved.

What drives you, why you're doing, what you're doing?

Desires, will, aspirations.

What is behind this desire? What is the true cause of desire?

Behind this desire is a desire, just a question of how we translate it for ourselves and into this world, so to speak, through what prism we understand these desires.

How do you understand these desires through your prism?

Right now, I am at the crossroads. I don't know what I really want, to be honest. It's a very difficult situation, and people really don't know how to handle it. They quickly try to find some activity for themselves. My current desire is to stay in this situation until I feel that I know what I want.

Okay. So, returning to the topic of results versus processes. What is more important? Some Eastern sages say that many people want to reach the top of the mountain and don't think about anything else except how to get to the top, but all the magic happens on the way. What is more important: the result or the process?

For me, these two things are like parts of one system. That is, if you remove one of them, the system simply stops working.

Is it correct to assume that the path and the result are one?

This is not the same thing; these are two different parts of one system. It's like a wheel and a crankshaft. Can you drive if you don't have a wheel? No! Can you drive if you don't have a crankshaft? No.

Another theoretical question. What does it mean for you to lose business or lose everything? What will happen to you as a person?

Nothing will happen.

What will you do?

Basically, what I'm doing now. Trying to figure out what I want.

Are you a proactive or reactive person?

There's a book "The Higher Archetypes" by Absalom Underwater. He describes different modalities, and one of the archetypes talks about the Yin and Yang modalities. Yin is passivity, feminine power - when you are more accepting, waiting for things to happen, do not act directly but rather influence from the side. Yang is when you are more active, applying your force directly. Each person has their own modality where they feel more comfortable and where they need to spend more energy. My default, where I spend less energy, is Yin. So, I am more on the waiting side, but of course, if the situation requires it, I can switch to Yang.

For example, it was a logical, more proactive decision when I changed companies. That is, you don't need a lot of willpower or energy to make a decision. You decide, and that's it. Your energy can go into preparing to make the decision or into doubts. Doubts, namely the consequences of that decision, you have to live and do something with them, which also takes energy.

Do you have doubts when deciding, and do you regret your decisions somehow?

Well, this is related to how to move forward on your path. Your decisions should boost your self-esteem so you won't regret them later. Doubts are embedded in your life, especially if you're a man. It's okay. You can't know everything for sure, and that's just part of the journey.

Okay, but if we must accept the consequences of our decisions because it's our path, then we can also remove doubts because it's also part of our path.

Remove doubts? Well, you never really get rid of them completely. Life is about taking decisions when in doubt.

What's your attitude towards people? Towards family, friends, enemies, envious people, and competitors?

I love people.

If you believe that everyone aims at good in their deepest essence, you will treat each person well.

Was there anything in your life that caused very negative feelings, such as aggression for example?

Injustice. Well, not necessarily in relation to me, just injustice as such.

Has this feeling changed over time?

It could be about recognizing that everything in life serves a purpose - a reason for its existence. This notion raises questions such as "What for?" and "Why?" which prompt us to reflect on our emotions and how they affect us. Speaking for myself, I have a considerable capacity for self-control, managing my reactions to things. However, I still sometimes experience inner aggression about injustice - though I'm learning to understand its underlying reasons.

What makes you happy, joyful?

When I have a grasp of what is taking place in my surroundings, when I am in tune with the flow of events. And once I comprehend the significance of these happenings, the purpose behind the current I have been placed in, and why I am part of it, I essentially understand my own path and purpose.

And it causes a feeling of happiness and harmony?

Yes, I understand myself better, and it brings happiness.

Do you eat a lot, and do you sleep a lot? And how often do you eat?

I'm unsure, similar to most people I guess. I wake up at 6:30 am.

In October of last year, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. We were on vacation, there was dinner, and I decided not to drink alcohol. I didn't drink that day, and I haven't been drinking since that time. When I start thinking about alcohol, I realize that I don't want to have it inside my body.

Do you always get up at the same time?

Well, on working days you need to take the children to school. I sleep a little more on weekends.

Alright. How do you understand the expression "the call of the soul"?

The soul in our body is like a small magnet which is being pulled in the direction of the god.

There's a good joke that goes like this: A man died and stood before God, asking Him what was the purpose of his life. God replied, "Do you remember back in 1985 when you were riding the trolley and a person on the bus asked you to pass money for the fare?" The man said, "Vaguely, yes." God said, "That was it."

Could you please share with us your inner wins?

Internal honesty. Internal honesty refers to being truthful with oneself, speaking and thinking without any inconsistencies. It doesn't necessarily require sharing with others, but rather a personal commitment to honesty.

Society exerts pressure on individuals to conform to its expectations, teaching us to prioritize its needs over our own desires and aspirations. These expectations include obtaining an education, acquiring useful skills, earning money, getting married, having children, and contributing to the continuation of society. Individuals are treated equally and assigned to specific roles within society, with those who do not fit the mold being stretched or shrunk to fit.

However, each person also has their own internal ideals, often influenced by archetypes, such as wanting to be as cool as James Bond. This creates a duality in which individuals must balance the expectations of society with their personal ideals and what they should actually be doing.

The key challenge is to be honest with oneself about what one truly wants versus what is expected by society or imagined in one's head. By acknowledging these differences, individuals can navigate their trajectory and fulfill their main task of staying true to themselves.

This is the middle path that Buddha spoke of. Being honest is one of your wins, as it enables you to stay mindful. Is that correct?

I'm not sure if I'm completely honest, but I think it's part of the way to be honest with yourself.

Do you have principles in your life?

I think I follow the fundamental principles, like those that are described in the bible. I am not doing it intentionally, but it is like it is built in me.

What kind of sports do you enjoy doing?

I go to the gym. I also used to cycle for a while, well, a lot actually. But when you have kids, you don't have much time left. Now I do outdoor walking. It is a good time and way to listen and learn.

Have you had someone in your life who influenced you very much?

Currently, I am exploring various topics and actively listening to different people. While this is propelling my personal growth, I am also an analytical person, which means that I am forming a fresh perspective of the world in my mind.