Kaidi Ruusalepp

Could you tell your story?

First, imagine you have amnesia and have forgotten all aspects of your life. To remember who you are and the type of person you've become, please reflect on key moments, realizations, and milestones that have shaped your evolution from the earliest memories you can recall until the present day.

I still think my roots go back to where I was born and grew up because that shaped who I am. So, I'm a girl who was born in a small village called Põlva. Throughout my entire life, I've been involved in orienteering. I witnessed the transition between two governmental systems. We were part of the Soviet Union and then re-gained our freedom, leading to Estonia's independence once again. At one point, I realized that I am contributing in building up our country. That's where everything stems from - the past still holds significance.

I'm highly determined, and this determination has always been a part of me. However, it has never been about my career goals, like aspiring to become the CEO of a specific company. Instead, my determination lies in working towards my dreams. I have dreams, and I have worked tirelessly to achieve them. I am proud to say that I have accomplished pretty much many of my dreams. So, determination is the word that best describes me.

Did you have anything in your life that changed you completely?

One of the events that changed my life was the end of high school. I was one of the top students, but somehow I didn't get accepted to any universities. Basically, I failed all the entry exams, which felt like a punch in the face. However, I didn't want to stay in that small, tiny town where I used to work as a summer assistant in a grocery store. So, I realized that if I stayed there, I would end up as the grocery store lady, right? Instead, I found a university in Tallinn that has a law faculty and eventually applied for a job there. Due to my background in law, I became the first IT lawyer in Estonia. If I hadn't failed, I would have been accepted to Tartu University and never become the first IT lawyer in Estonia or an entrepreneur and CEO of a stock exchange. So, this failure ultimately led me to everything in my professional life so far.

What drives you?

My husband always says that I need to have a project, and he puts it so nicely. Always. Whenever I get impatient, he looks at me and says, 'You need a project.' I simply can't sit still when there's so much energy inside me; I need to let it out. One thing that truly drives me is an exercise I do: I imagine myself at the age of 95, sitting with my husband, enjoying a nice glass of wine, and discussing life. During this exercise, I reflect on what I might regret not doing. Then, I mentally return to the present and think about what I should do to avoid those regrets. It motivates me to pursue my dreams, like becoming an entrepreneur or taking on new challenges. Currently, we are planning to build a country house because I have a strong desire to live in the middle of forests. All these thoughts come from considering what I might regret in the future.

What is more important, the result or the process?

I believe that having a goal makes things much easier as you work towards achieving it but it makes the goals worthless without enjoying the process. Back in my youth, I was one of the top athletes in orienteering, but I didn't give much thought to the importance of the process at the time. Later, when I was the CEO of the NASDAQ Exchange here in Estonia, I attended a group CEOs training where we were coached by a Danish Olympic rowing coach. He taught me that sometimes circumstances beyond our control can prevent us from achieving our goals. For example, an injury could keep you from competing in the Olympic distance. Therefore, it's crucial to find joy in the process itself. If you enjoy the journey, reaching the goal becomes a double victory. Even if you can't compete or fail to achieve the goal, you still have a victory because you cherished the process.

From that point on, I made it a point to enjoy little things every day, including meetings and the people I meet. It's up to us to decide how we perceive the process – whether we hate it, simply endure it, or actively make it enjoyable for ourselves and others. I believe it's essential to strike a balance and find equal enjoyment in both the process and the outcome.

The theoretical question is, what would it mean for you to lose your business completely? What will you do? What will happen to you?

When you're an entrepreneur, you need to go through the mental exercise of considering what you would do if the business fails or if you lose the business. It's essential to prepare for such scenarios. As the founder and CEO, my top priority would be doing everything in my power to satisfy the customers and the employees. That's the number one responsibility. I would strive to do as much as possible to ensure their well-being. In challenging times, you need to be willing to do whatever it takes, even if it means sinking with the ship and being the last person to clean up the mess.

However, if your personal success is closely tied to the success of the business, you may find it difficult to separate yourself from it. In such cases, if the business goes down, it could impact your personal life as well. It's crucial to find a balance and not let your personal well-being solely rely on the success of the business.

How to split this personal and business success and not be only attached to business success?

It comes down to failures and accepting them because you can't expect to succeed in everything in life. It's impossible. I don't know a single person who hasn't experienced failure. When failure happens, you pick yourself up, start again, or try a different approach. You might seek business coaching, emotional coaching, or any other resource to learn from the failure and turn it into something constructive. Being afraid of failing is natural, but it's essential to overcome that fear. It's a challenging mental exercise, but it's a normal part of life.

Are you a proactive or reactive person?

Proactive.

When you make decisions, do you incorporate a more analytical side of yourself, or do you use feelings, emotions, and intuition?

It depends on the situation and the decision at hand. When it comes to recruiting people, there's a wonderful book called 'Blink' by Malcolm Gladwell, which emphasizes the power of quick decisions. In just two seconds, you might make a decision about a person based on your initial impression. However, it's crucial to trust this gut feeling because, after an hour-long interview, the person may try to justify themselves, but your initial intuition might have been right all along. If you ignore your instincts, you might end up having to fire that person later on. So, sometimes we need to trust our intuition more, even if it seems like a quick judgment.

When it comes to certain aspects, like opening a new market or exploring a new product, relying solely on intuition is not the best approach. In such cases, using data and numbers becomes more reliable.

Have you made mistakes in the past when you didn't rely on intuition?

Yes, when I haven't followed intuition.

How do you feel about people in general?

I always try to think positively about them. I give my full trust to people first, rather than expecting them to trust me first or them to build trust on time. People close to me - family, business, friends, business partners - have all my trust from the moment I decide to engage with them.

Are you holding onto negative emotions towards people from your past?

I've faced some very tough situations in my life, but I don't hold onto negative feelings towards people from my past. Understanding why they acted the way they did allows me to find peace within myself. I believe it's crucial to look beyond a person's behavior and try to uncover the lessons they brought into my life. I have learned to see each encounter as an opportunity for personal growth, and every situation has made me stronger. And very often we can say that them being the way they are is their problem, not mine.

As individuals, and especially as leaders, we should take the time to reflect on past situations once they have calmed down. By doing so, we can gain valuable insights for ourselves, the other person involved, and even for business relationships. There’s a nice question to ask in these situations - why has this person been sent to me? So while I may avoid interacting with certain people from my past, I don't carry any lingering bad feelings because it would only drain my energy, which I need to make decisions, enjoy life, and experience all the positive things around me. Plus I would neglect the valuable lesson. I've come to realize that dwelling on negative thoughts is very self-destructive and hinders going forward.

How do you react to pleasant and unpleasant situations?

It really depends on the situation at hand and I have changed over time as well. In unpleasant situations, I either talk to people I trust to get a balanced view on the topic or I just go somewhere alone to calm down. . I don’t raise my voice, except to my elder son:) If it's a situation I've experienced in the past and familiar with, I might not need to discuss it with anyone because I can navigate through it using a similar pattern. However, if it's something new to me, I prefer finding someone I can talk to and work together to find the best solution.

On the other hand, in pleasant situations, I let all my emotions out, and I share the joy and success with everyone involved. Including buying a cake or flowers or wine or whatever to thank people involved.

Do you do charity work? If yes, do you keep this action for yourself only or share it everywhere on social media?

I engage in charity work. I openly express my support for Ukraine in any way I can because I believe in encouraging others to do the same. We all need to contribute to such causes. However, aside from my public support for Ukraine, I also make donations to my orienteering club and provide support to young musicians. I have even backed the release of a symphony orchestra piece written by one of the Estonian composers.

I don't engage in charity to seek attention or applause; I do it because I genuinely want to make a positive impact and help others.

What makes you happy?

My family, my life, Funderbeam, Estonia, and the sun. You know, my day and happiness begins when I wake up in the morning, and the sun is shining over our beautiful garden. I have this incredibly comfortable garden chair that is my chair bought for myself. I take a cup of coffee, go out, sit in the chair, look at the lovely flowers in my garden, and it brings me pure joy.

Do you regret anything?

I have one regret. When Funderbeam was born, we had the opportunity to be accepted into one of the US accelerators. However, I lacked the courage at that time to go there for three months because I had two small kids, and I didn't want to leave my family behind. That's the only thing I regret. But who knows, in five years' time, I might reevaluate and see if I still feel the same way.

Do you eat a lot, and do you sleep a lot?

Yes, and yes.

How much are you sleeping?

I make sure to get my eight hours of sleep; otherwise, I become very grumpy. Interestingly, nature has blessed me with the ability to sleep anywhere. During the two years, we lived in Singapore, I traveled on those red-eye flights. As soon as the plane takes off, I fall asleep, and I usually wake up either during breakfast or when we land. My husband often wonders how I can do it. I can easily sleep for 10 hours on the plane without any problem. When I'm tired, I'm tired, and I simply sleep. I believe this ability has played a significant role in keeping me mentally sharp during those challenging founder years.

How do you recharge your batteries apart from sleeping?

It depends on the period of time. That's what I learned during those years. I have a wonderful coach who has been mentoring the entire Estonian unicorn executive team since the beginning, and I connect very well with her. Recently, we discussed how to take care of our physical and mental well-being. For example, during mentally tough times, I avoid doing super extensive sports as it tends to irritate me. Instead, I prefer to listen to music and read a massive amount of books. I can even finish a book a day if necessary. Sometimes, I start reading a book at 7 am and don't finish until 11 pm, immersing myself in it completely. During these reading sessions, I'm doing nothing else but indulging in the book. My husband takes care of the kids, so everything runs smoothly. As I mentioned before, I have figured out the best times and activities that help me recharge myself, such as music, reading, and sports. Occasionally, I also take a day off to relax and do nothing but read.

How do you understand the term “call of the soul”?

It's an interesting and tough question. Nobody has asked me this before. Maybe the way I see it is that every single soul, not only has a goal but also a purpose. We are here on a mission to fulfill that purpose. For instance, the goal of my elder son's soul seems to be testing my patience and resistance through playfulness and challenges:) I believe that life puts us through various tests and challenges every single day, and it's like God has sent me to this world to push my limits and grow.

How do you help your kids to find themselves in life?

I let them be who they are. You have to let them be. You have to step out of their way. That's the best way you can do it. And now it goes back to my elder son because he is one of a kind. My husband and I both studied in STEM classes. We were both brilliant students and all that kind of stuff. However, my elder son is nothing like that. He is as creative as a soul can be. He negotiates and communicates in ways we never could. He creates video edits for YouTubers. Currently, he is 16 and he does all of it himself. He also loves painting his nails, experimenting with his appearance, and expressing himself. As parents, we have two choices: to prohibit his interests or to let him be who he is, because all these features and actions are for him to discover his identity. We have to accept him for who he is.

He just graduated from secondary school or the ninth grade in Estonia. In an English college, he was the only guy who didn't wear a suit. When his classmates told him to go home and change, he stood his ground, saying, "No, this is me." He proudly carried himself throughout the ceremony. As parents, sitting in the audience, we were supportive of his choice. There was no dress code, so it was fine, and that's what he wanted to do. We have to let them be who they want to be.

I learned a valuable lesson when we were in Singapore. They studied in an international school for two years. The school supported each kid based on their strengths. My younger son excelled in math and STEM, so he was placed in the spicy group. On the other hand, Henrik, my elder son, unexpectedly became one of the main characters in the school musical. I was surprised and said, "Henrik, you don't know how to sing." However, he danced and showed an extraordinary sense of rhythm. The music teacher and drama teacher recognized his talent and encouraged him to pursue music. These experiences taught me to step out of their way and support who they truly are, or else we might hinder the development of their true selves.

It can be tough, especially when you have a creative child born into a STEM-focused family. It's been a valuable lesson for me. He was sent to us for a reason. He chose us as his parents because we can love and accept him for who he truly wants to be."

Can you name several inner wins that you're proud of internally?

The first inner win for me is that I don't need to be a good girl. This expectation is ingrained, especially when you excel in school and sports. Girls are often raised with the notion of being a 'good girl.' I faced this pressure for years. It was like a saying, 'Be a good girl, wear a yellow dress, don't mess up.' It takes decades to break free from this mindset. Being a 'good girl' is a tough challenge, but when you overcome it, you can finally start living. I consider reaching this point as my biggest achievement, and I think I reached it about five or maybe three years ago. It took more than 40 years to get there. That's one thing.

The second thing is related to my proactive nature. Sometimes, I tend to want too much control over situations, even when they are beyond my control. Currently, builders are reconstructing the fence around my house, and it's been taking more than a month with less than half of it done. I can't fully control the situation. I could shout at them, but it won't change everything. So, one of my inner wins is learning to let go when I can't control a situation completely. I can make some efforts to influence it, but ultimately, I need to accept that we'll get the fence by September.

What about your principles?

One of the essential principles is respect. Respect yourself and respect other people. Embrace differences, value diversity, and show respect.

In terms of activities, are you still doing orienteering?

Not as actively as I wanted to, due to a back injury and knee issues that prevent me from running much. However, I try to participate in a few sports courses. I support orienteering through charitable activities and remain involved with my sports club. Whenever I have time, I assist in organizing competitions or in any way I can. One of the reasons I aspired to be a successful entrepreneur is that after a successful exit, I could fully support orienteering, a wonderful sport that has helped me tremendously.

What other activities for physical health do you do?

I try to stay active by walking every day. We have a garden, so I work there as well. Whenever there's an opportunity, I like to swim. During the winter I enjoy Nordic skiing, which is one of my favorite sports. My exercise routine involves listening to good music while walking briskly in nature. It's not a leisurely hike, as my speed is a bit too fast for that, but it's also not jogging. It falls somewhere in between, allowing me to appreciate nature while enjoying my music. This is how I offload and recharge myself.

Do you do this regularly?

Again, it depends on the kind of periods in life. Right now, I don't do it much due to the ongoing deal and transaction that needs to be taken care of. Additionally, we have the garden work to focus on, especially with all the stuff around the fence that needs attention. During summertime, I try to swim more often.

Do you do anything for self-expression, like drawing or something else?

I do the interior decoration. I love it. Whenever there's free time or during long flights, I always buy magazines on interior decoration and go through them. I completely decorated my house last year, and now I'm doing the same with the garden. For me, it's all about expressing myself through the choice of plants, furniture, and colors.

Do you have anyone who influenced you a lot?

My husband is, in a way, like a dream partner who lets me be who I am and steps up when I need support. I also step up when he needs support. He encourages me to do things I initially never wanted to do, but I then again - once done, never regretted it. For instance, he was the one who pushed our family to move to Singapore. One of Funderbeam executives had to move, and despite my initial resistance, I eventually agreed. He also encourages me to read influential books, and every Christmas, he gives me a package full of the best books I've ever read. He introduces me to good food and expands my culinary horizons. He brings balance to my life and broadens my perspectives. And he is my professional mentor in many areas - I often discuss my tough decisions with him, elaborate around new technologies, politics and philosophy.

How do you push him?

Like I said, I always need to have a project. So all the stuff that we do around our house, such as decorating it the way we did or changing the fence, I pushed for it. I'm the one who introduces all these projects, and he follows along. He never had such an active social life before, and sometimes he admits that he's tired of our super active social life - but again, happy in the end.

What is his name?

Raivo.

You mentioned you like reading books. Can you tell us about the books you found interesting?

Three groups of books. The first group consists of all those crazy startup stories based on true life, like "The Cult of We" and "Bad Blood," and even the Twitter story—these are all gripping books that I couldn't put away when I started reading them. I remember staying up until 5 a.m., thinking I could read just one more chapter before my first meeting at 10 a.m. So, these are the kinds of books in the first group.

The second group of books includes those that make me see things differently, such as "Influential Mind" (I can send you the titles later). "Influential Mind" discusses how the brain resonates with stories, and not at all with facts and data. Other books in this group are Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink" and "Outliers", “Talking to Strangers” . I also enjoyed reading "Who Can You Trust?" by Rachel Botsman, which is an excellently written book.

The third group of books contains titles like "Educated" by Tara Westover. It tells the incredible story of her being born into a strict family and how she pushed herself to break free and eventually earn a Cambridge PhD. What's fascinating about this book is that different readers can perceive it from various angles. For example, one of my friends, an educator and entrepreneur, viewed it as a homeschooling story, while another friend, who is a mom, saw it as a story about family dynamics. For me, I saw it as a leadership book. It's very thought-provoking to see how one story can resonate differently with different people. Also “Hidden Valley Road” by Robert Kolken.

Why do you think people have a different perspective on the same book?

Because their life is dominated by the period they are in right now. So, for example, when you need a new bicycle, you start seeing bicycles everywhere. And when you're at home with kids, you see kids and moms everywhere. As an entrepreneur, you somehow read and relate to all the entrepreneurship stories. I believe that when people read the book after ten years, they will have a different perspective.